"Don't jump the gun" we all heard the expression and if you have borderline personality disorder it's is almost guarantee that you have jumped the gun. And so I have, many times. I have lost friends and opportunities because I let my initial emotional reaction determine the course of the whole experience. It sounds incredibly stupid and irrational, yet I do it so well - I can do it with my eyes closed.
Few days ago I was staying at my sister's place and my beloved dog cut her paw open. I was alone in the house and terrified because my baby was bleeding all over the place. I cleaned the wound a little bit and got a better look. The cut was very deep and required stitches. So I frantically got on the phone and told my sister what happened and that we need to go to the vet. Her reaction was "I'll think about it" said very calmly. I was shocked but said OK.
In that moment I jumped the gun. I followed my emotional reaction and judged that she didn't really care, and that pissed me off like you wouldn't believe. I know she doesn't think of pets as part of the family but c'mon - there's blood everywhere. Luckily my bother in law came home within minutes and we left for the vet right away. (my baby got three shots and 12 stitches but is doing great)
Later, I decided not to keep my mouth shot. I said to her calmly "You know I was really disappointed at your reaction earlier. It made my feel like you really didn't care." She explained that she was going to leave the kids with their friends and called her husband to see if he was any closer to the house. She did everything right - everything any good, concern person would do. Except communicate her feelings of concern to me and I felt bad because she didn't meet my emotional expectations. I know that I made a bad judgement call and if she was just a casual friend, I wouldn't have spokes to her afterwards to get the whole story and to voice my feelings. And as a result probably wouldn't have lost a friend. All because someone didn't meet my emotional expectations.
So dears, next time someone makes you jump the gun with negative feelings - TELL THEM. Speak calmly with a coherent message and give them a change to explain. Chances are you let your emotions get hands of the trigger a little too fast. Clear the air, get the whole story, and you'll feel better. Promise.
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