I like the way the air smells here in my home town, here where I grew up, here in the middle of nowhere. In the middle of nowhere on the map and in my life. Where I don't know where I'm going or how I should move on.
But now, all I feel is the two hard core drinks I just fed my body. And I feel ok. Alcohol relaxes me and levels me on an emotional level. Not too much. Just one or two vodka or gin based treats make me feel like everyone else. I am relaxed. I am ok with myself. I am feeling things and don't feel guilty about it. I feel like I'm going to be ok. I wish it could last.... without the alcohol.
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