I lie all the time. That's the raw, brutal truth. I hide under the inconspicuous cape of normalcy to survive in the environment which rejects me. Every time I have a day where I can't get out of bed - I fake a migraine. Every time I don't want to be in a social situation with people I can't stand - I have a stomach ache. People understand headache, stomach ache, not feeling well but they have much harder time understanding internal panic attack, unprovoked rage, uncontrollable hate. They can't or won't understand these weird emotions that go through me like hurricane. And since I'm an introvert I hide this hurricane every time - and every time it's another lie. It's difficult for others to understand but it's damn easy to judge.
Ah yes, JUDGEMENT. It's almost a favorite pass time to some. How can I be honest for one minute when it only takes you 6 seconds to decided everything about me? I don't want to be honest with the world. I am not here to satisfy its curiously. And perhaps ironically, only those who accept me as I am wanting nothing else but what I give them, get more of me. Those who understand that they can't fully understand this hurricane of emotions get a little more honesty than the rest of the world.
So if you want honesty out of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder just accept that you may never get it. And that's perfectly fine too.
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