I love the night. It's peaceful and calm. No one wants anything from me, no one triggers my emotions. I am relaxed and at peace. For a very long time, almost all of last year, I kept vampire hours. I stayed up all night catching a long nap after the sunrise. I drifted through few hours of daylight wanting nothing to do but sleep. I slept as much as 16 hours in any 24 hour period. I set alarm clock after alarm clock only to snooze them all, propelling the self loathing cycle. I wanted to want to wake up but I just couldn't.
Hypersomnia is a symptom of major depressive disorder. And like most depression symptoms it has a devastating effect of prevent any kind of life to be lived. I surely wasn't living. I was running away in my brief dreams.
Then I read about positive effects of Omega 3 on symptoms of depression. It was just a pill used by millions as a dietary supplement so I decided to give it a try. I started with 1000 mg per day going up to 2000 mg and within few days I noticed a huge difference.
No more vampire hours for me and the best part was - no will power was required. I got up in the morning. I had nothing to do, no appointments to keep but I was wide awake at 8 am. I have never been morning person. Never - even as a baby I liked to sleep. And here I was - awake, I mean fully and mindfully awake at 8. I had energy all day to do stuff. Cleaning up felt normal, cooking felt normal. Nothing was difficult. I might feel like doing something or not, but there was dreading the though of doing something. In the evening I was tired. Sleep was coming easier and lasted longer.
I also noticed other benefits: I no longer had urges to stuff junk food, one piece of chocolate was enough, started writing again, went on more and longer walks with my dog, my mood improved, and most of all I felt more relaxed - focused but relaxed. I have nothing but good things to say about effects of Omega 3 on my life.
It's not a magic pill. I'm not a completely different person but I feel better. I feel my mind is no longer sluggish and my feet aren't stuck in the slowly setting concrete. I still have bad days where I really don't want to get out of bed. But it's just a day, one day. Not one week, or a month. Even if I have a bad day or someone triggers my extreme emotions - I bounce back far more quickly than I did before.
And that's the key to living a happy life, isn't it ? You bounce back.
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