When someone is confiding in you about their Borderline Personality Disorder, try to listen and understand how it feels to be them. And please try your best to avoid saying the following phrases
"I don't think you have BPD" - This is not helpful nor comforting. It may also result in break of trust which may be devastating to the Borderline. Mental health profession study for years to understand the mind, and even they take a long, long time to diagnose BPD. If you don't know how to respond, just listen and try to understand.
"You're too sensitive" - Judging and labeling will only piss off the person, who is trying their best to speak about extremely difficult aspect of their life. And even if what you're saying is the truth, how is it helpful?
"Get a grip" - It's not as simple as it sounds and if it were possible, the present conversion would not be happening. So try to understand that getting a grip is more difficult for some than the others.
"Others have worse problems" - Do you yourself feel better when someone compares your problems to starving children in Africa? Of course not. Comparing doesn't do any good to anyone.
"Stop blaming your past" - It is a fact that vast majority BPD is developed due to childhood abuse, neglect or abandonment. Most borderlines do not dwell on the past, or relive the childhood events. But it is only natural to want to know and understand why we are the way we are.
Often there is not much you can say to a person with Borderline Personality Disorder. And sometimes it's better not to say anything. Instead of speaking: listen, try to imagine how it must feel, and show that you are there for them. Create a comfortable, supportive atmosphere, even if you don't agree or can't understand. It all takes time so leave that door open.
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